I hope...

That I have fun the next 9 days. There is a lot to do, a lot to think about, and a lot to process. This is the biggest decision ever, and the biggest life change. I have moved countries, but this is even bigger than that. And I go between being elated, and then feeling like we should just run away and elope. But really, I just want to enjoy this moment. I think being sick for over 2 weeks doesn't help either. I haven't been able to work out in about a month, and lets just say I don't feel my best.

But in a way, its providential. As a perfectionist, I want to be at my peak on my wedding day. I wanted to lose 20 lbs, but I gained at least 10. I wanted to have fantastically toned arms, but instead, lets, just say, I will not. And yet, I am marrying a man who will still think I am the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. He is saying 'yes' before the most important people in our lives when I feel most unlovable. At my worst, he still wants me. I think that is just the way it should be...