A New Year

Every year I think that the next one will better. That maybe it will hold some dream coming true. That it will prove better than the last. 2010 begin with getting married, and that seems like something to celebrate. But even with that, I think that it will go beyond. I just have a feeling this is gonna be a good one. I hope that for those around me who have struggled this year, that this one will be like a wonderful bike ride down hill. Hair flying, breeze whipping and fun all the way. I just wish I felt better so I could celebrate in style.

ok

So I really think I am losing my mind a little bit. I just sent out an email to the rehearsal participants and left out important things like...the date. I mean come on! I know, I know, I'm being hard on myself, but these are not things that I forget! Or like today when I said that a woman could file for medicare on her husband's record because she isn't insured, but he is only 59! I mean, come on Technical Expert, get with the program!!! Rookie mistake, kid.

So yeah, there are many little instances where I feel like I am losing a grip on the control over details. I have control of the details, the policies, the dates, the times, the particulars. But right now, I can't hold it all together in my tight little fist. Its part of the process...and you know, its probably good to loosen my grip. To let go and let it all happen. Chris is really taking over a lot of things, and I think I need to learn this lesson. Let him take care of me. I don't think I've let anyone do that in years...

And right now, I'm gonna publish this post, and not even proof read...so there!

The Proofs

We just got one of the proofs for our invitations. It seems like this whole wedding thing has been fake... like its just something we plan, and people ask questions about. Not real. But seeing the invitation with our names and this date we keep telling everyone about makes it all the more real. I hate to spoil surprises, but I'll give you all a peek anyway.

We used this wonderful designer Kimi from Printable Press. Her designs are divine. You can see more of them at www.printablepress.com. It was very hard to decide.

I have decided...

TO HIRE A WEDDING COORDINATOR. It seemed like it was too luxurious. But when it comes down to it, its not that much money, and I will be at peace. I am in touch with one that sounds like she's the ticket. Someone to make sure everything is just right, so that I can have a wonderful wedding day. That sounds perfect.

I would like magical lights like this:

I had a bad dream

SO I had my first bad dream about the wedding since we got engaged. I have had bad dreams about my future wedding throughout my life. As Chris and I got closer to getting engaged, they got less and less bad, until it was really just one little detail out of place. Seems like we have started over!

So in my dream, the wedding is taking place in a dilapidated tent. Old time, like for a circus. And the other problem, there are only 5 people there. We are inviting 185. There are 15 people in our wedding party. This is bad. I realized that I didn't get a single RSVP card back, and I didn't bother to follow-up either! What was I thinking? So I started asking, is this even a real wedding? Can we even get married? What is going on!!!???? I woke up before a solution came to mind.

I guess it could have been worse.